A HEAP

i feel the tears flowing down my face
and i think, it may have lessened my pain
i feel my life slipping through
running past me like these tears
running down my eyes
how i want you to hold me
how much i yearn for your touch
but you lie beside me, asleep on the couch
i feel love & pain alike
i think i enjoy pain now
i like the tears & welcome the grief
i am now a handful of feelings, flesh & femininity, a heap.